Friday, November 29, 2013

the 5 movies you should look out for during the holidays

Samurai, dragons, and corrupted bankers. It's a motherfucking Christmas miracle. I guess big time directors like Peter Jackson and Martin Scorsese will be responsible for bringing smiles to children's faces; Santa's going to have to step his game up. Here are the five movies you should keep an eye out for this month...






     1. THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG 

Director: Peter Jackson
Starring: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Andy Serkis, Aidan Turner
Release Date: December 12th

Following the unexpected journey from "An Unexpected Journey", we're right back at it with the crusading crew: Frodo's cool-ass uncle Bilbo Baggins, that badass wizard we know as Gandalf, Thorin the dwarf leader, and all those other dwarves whom nobody can remember their names. From what we know, they're trying to start shit with a dragon called Smaug (who's voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch, which is pretty sick) and reclaim the Lonely Mountain, hopefully restoring peace within the dwarven society. We can also expect an appearance from Orlando Bloom to reprise his role as our favourite archer, Legolas, and the gorgeous Evangeline Lilly, who's going to play a new character named Tauriel. Not sure if I'm ready to watch Kate Austen as a super hot elf-warrior yet.

     2. 47 RONIN


Director: Carl Rinsch
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Hiroyuki Sanada, Shibasaki Kou, Tadanobu Asano, Rinko Kikuchi
Release Date: December 25

How do I summarize the premise of this movie? Think "300", but instead of Spartans, you only have 47 samurai taking on an entire empire, led by Neo from the Matrix. Antagonists include a crazy bitch who can turn into a fire dragon, vibrating monks who look like Voldemort, and a tattooed freak wielding dual flint pistols. Apparently it's a sort of "started from the bottom" tale, where Keanu plays a once exiled half-breed warrior who now becomes the chosen one, yet again. Expect a lot of CGI monsters, a lot of Japanese people, bloodshed, and epic fight scenes. 


     3. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET


Director: Martin Scorsese
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Jean Dujardin, Matthew McConaughey, Kyle Chandler
Release Date: December 25

If you enjoyed Leo portraying a young, rich, white man in The Great Gatsby, look no further. He's back in a retelling of the exploits of Jordan Belfort, a crooked banker, in this new adaptation of his memoir. Just like in Gatsby, expect to see Leo flailing money like it's nothing, dancing with hot chicks, throwing banger parties, and making us feel like we've failed at life. To be honest, I was pretty confused by the trailer. Is it a comedy? Drama? Action? I'm going to play it safe and label it as a dramedy. There's two things about this trailer that persuaded me into watching the movie: Jonah Hill (so you can expect some witty cracks here and there) and the choice of "Black Skinhead" as the song. Maybe the movie's secretly alluding to Kanye's rich people problems?

     4. THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY


Director: Ben Stiller
Starring: Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Patton Oswald, Shirley MacLaine, Adam Scott
Release Date: December 25

When I first saw this trailer in the summer, I was extremely captivated. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is a modern film adaptation of James Thurber's short story from 1939, and focuses on a not-so-exciting Life magazine employee who lives fantastical adventures through daydreams, and ends up actually physically embarking on a worldwide journey of a lifetime to recover a missing picture for the magazine's final issue, and probably score with the office cutie. What's awesome about this trailer is the magnificent cinematography (I mean look at those angles man), the brilliant landscape shots, and great use of the song "Dirty Paws" by Of Monsters and Men. I expect a lot from this movie.

     5. ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

Director: Adam McKay
Starring: Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, David Koechner, Christina Applegate
Release Date: December 20th

The return of Ron Burgundy and co. Need I say more? You're likely to walk out of the movie theatre with shat pants because that's how hard you will be laughing. 

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